This is embarrassing. I scold my students to use strong verbs and to avoid the dreaded IS in their writing. In my own writing, however, I use a veritable plethora of ISes! In addition, the first sentence in my Old paragraph below contains enough prepositional phrases to stretch that sentence beyond all comprehensibility. I count eight. In one sentence. With an IS verb. I rewrote this paragraph by first highlighting all the criminal words and phrases and then found stronger verbs for the ISes. The proliferation of prepositional phrases posed a greater problem since they contain necessary information. Rewording and paying more attention to the rhythm of the sentences helped me better manage the prepositions.
OLD: Perhaps the staunchest argument against inclusion of women writers in the canon is the matter of recognizing general, historical significance in the works of those who were prevented from interacting in wide public spheres. Women’s lives were private, small, and domestic. If a woman dared to write, she was restricted to topics of household concerns and wifely duty. Aemilia Lanyer disregarded these restrictions.
NEW: The traditional literary canon refuses inclusion of women writers based on the private, historically insignificant sphere of women’s lives. If a woman before the 1960s dared to write, she adhered to topics of household concerns and wifely duties. Aemilia Lanyer disregarded these restrictions.
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I was forced to write a 20-page paper in grad school throughout which I could use no FORMS of the be-verb. It was torturous for me and my reader! But it showed me, in dramatic fashion, just how often I depend on the "state of being" verb to the exclusion of more action-packed ones. Of course we need states of being to exist and to write about existing, so they need not go away altogether. What a difference, though, when I began to pay more attention to this one piece of a sentence.
ReplyDeleteMy ear kept wanting to insert a "however" after "Aemilia Lanyer." :-)