Nick's Second.

So with the holiday and all, I totally forgot to do this on time. Sorry.

This is from the intro to an essay I wrote last year. The instructor told me I used too many prepositions, and to prove this, circled every one on the first page. I was then advised not to use so many. I'm trying to sum up and expand on something that Margaret Atwood told me once in a Q&A after a reading.

Original: That is to say, it seems to me, that the great cultural works of the past not only influence the structure of the present moment, but that also the present moment, informed by the confluence of multiple traditional texts, dynamically alters how individual traditional texts are interpreted. An understanding of this perspective of influence is extremely useful when considering Atwood's own body of work, which can be characterized by nothing if not by her overt intertextual references to, it seems at times, the entire Western canon.

Revised: Because Atwood's body of work seems to intertextually reference most of the Western canon, understanding her perspective on influence greatly informs examinations of her body of work. Her response implies a reciprocal relationship between the present moment and the texts through which that moment is read. Our understanding of the present, naturally, is influenced by the texts we have read, but the meaning we take from texts is also influenced by our present experience.

I started a sentence with 'because,' because I'm usually very hesitant about that, and tried to break up the long strings of subordinate and prepositional clauses. I also used the first-person, which I am usually hesitant about as well. In addition, I reordered some parts so that the end of sentences emphasize my main points, and so that the information has better coherence (because I still remember last week's lessons).